drifing

drifting

i gave up
i walked away
i could not carry the weight any longer

i paddled out
into the storm
no life jacket

just paddled until i could paddle no more
then i lay in my canoe
like a corpse in a coffin
i wanted to die

but the waves rocked me like a baby in a crib
i laid there for hours
in the rain
waiting to see
what the universe wanted for me

would i be capsized and drown?
would the winds turn me around?

would the weight of my burdens carry me down
into the abyss...?



the sun set
the final rays shone
and pierced my eyes
leading me on

i paddled home
to apologize
for being selfish
and creating a storm

yes
indeed
the weather turns bad
and lightening strikes

but who is it
that a spark ignites?

and what fire
can not the rains squelch

for nor reason, nor logic
can blame conquer

i can't heal the world
and i can not bleed any longer

the blood
and the pain
the signs of my wounded heart
must i tend
and nurture
and foresee
my mortality

and i
but a wave
in the universal sea

now flowing
and growing
back into
divinity

and grace